Disclaimer: I’m not perfect. This is not saying that I have learned these lessons perfectly. Often times, I feel as if I’m still re-learning these lessons every day. There are still many new lessons to learn.
Things Don’t Always Go as Planned
I think is still one of the hardest lessons for me to accept, even though it probably was one of the first lessons I realized I needed to learn.
For me, this realization came during labor. For anyone that’s given birth you will know what it’s like spending hours, weeks, and months research and customizing your birth plan only to have it go out the window (or at least no completely as planned) during the actual birth.
I can plan do something weeks in advance, only to have my Little fall sick right before hand. Plans change, and the more flexible you are, the better off you will be.
Life is Messy
Life is messy. Birthing is messy. Babies are messy, and now my house always seems to be very messy. I think messiness is just a part of life. Living by the margin has helped me to embrace the crazy and actually enjoy those moments. Things won’t be perfect, and that’s okay.
The house won’t be always clean. The car will be a disaster. My to-do list will forever be moved to the next day because I can’t possibly accomplish everything on it in 24 hours. The laundry will sometimes sit for a week, and sometimes I will run late.
Outfits will be ruined (Which, by the way, it’s okay to throw that blow out outfit away. Trust me. They grow through things so fast, you won’t miss putting them in it, promise. Just throw them in a different new outfit that is still hanging up with tags in their closet.)
I won’t get to organize how I want thanks to baby toys littered all over the house and a crawler on the loose.
Imperfection is unavoidable, but how you deal with it is everything. Choose to accept whatever stage of life you are in with grace. You will enjoy it more. Messiness just means you were living.
Learn to Ask for Help
In fact, I wish I had done it more. Motherhood can be a steep learning curve, and sometimes you just need some help.
I was fortunate enough to have both my mom and my mother in law visit me after I gave birth. Having someone to share in the everyday burdens such as dishwashing and laundry is amazing, especially while trying to adjust to being spit up on every hour.
Not only right after birth but in all of life. ASK FOR HELP. I can not tell you how many times I have asked for advice from a mom who has more experience, or how many times I have had to ask my hubby to step up because I felt like I was drowning in life. (And he has, you’d be surprised what your husband will do if you just ask him!)
You’re Capable of Loving More than You’ll Ever Know
I love a lot of things in life. Wine. Coffee. soft snuggly things, planners… organizing, (of course) my hubby. (best for last, right?) I have NEVER. NOT EVER. experienced love as I have since my Little was born.
Let me put it this way-I would never walk through a pit of snakes for a million dollars. But I would walk through a million pit of snakes for my son.
Sure, I think I couldn’t love any more than I possibly do now, but I’m if I had another child I would love them the same way-making my point-your love reaches beyond your wildest limits.
The Little Things are the Big Things
I spend basically every day with my Little. It’s wonderful watching him as he accomplishes something new. However, it took all those little attempts and all those little tries to do it. It took those weeks of learning and watching.
Baby steps come before running. I realized that EVERY time I interact with my son matters. All the seemingly little transactions and conversations and kisses. They all matter. Those are the big things. (And the sweetest memories).
You Do Not Have to Know Everything
When I became a mother, I felt as if I didn’t know the first thing about being a mother. I had read all the books and scoured all the pages. But when it came time to raise my own child, I had to learn. Not everything method works for every child. Mistakes happen. I don’t have all the answers. But you know what? That’s okay.
Constantly learning new skills, and gaining more knowledge will help me to become a better person. It will help me achieve my goals to live more simply and with more margin. It will help me parent with more wisdom, and patience, and grace.
You will never know everything. But as long as you keep learning you are doing the best that you can, and that’s all anyone could ask of you.
What are some lessons you learned as a new mother? What was the hardest lesson to learn? If you like this post please let me know in the comments down below, I look forward to hearing from you!